I’ve not always felt I am living my best life. I used to worry about the worry I had that I was wasting my life. I worried that I might not make it to the next day, for many days of my adult life. I was worrying so much about not living that I wasn’t living; not properly.

The anxiety I’ve had for more than twenty-six years caused me to retract from living with vitality and purpose. At the root of my anxiety was a significant fear of death. So, it’s completely ironic that I was so scared of dying it meant I wasn’t really living.

Fast forward through those twenty-six years and I finally feel like I am in control of creating the life I want to live. I truly believe we are all capable of living the life we dream of.

Social media is full of influencers and celebrities declaring they are ‘living their best life’. It can seem a bit shallow and cringe-worthy. You probably pass judgement on them, something along the lines of it being easy for them with their money and easy lifestyle. I’ve been there too. I used to think that all this talk of living your best life was just chatter on social media. I knew I wasn’t living my life how I wanted to, but I didn’t liken it to this newly popular term of living your best life. I simply wanted to feel I was living.

My thinking and clarity on this whole dream life thing started to form a couple of years ago. I went through several big life changes very close to one another, the main one being the loss of my Mam. Her death happened pretty suddenly, after a very short illness we hadn’t seen coming. She’d suffered from ill health for many years, a combination of physical and mental health challenges. Seeing her quality of life decline during that time was difficult for me. I hated that she’d lost so much of her independence and passion for life from such a young age. I struggled with what this might mean for me as I aged, not wanting to go through a similar experience. There were so many emotions I battled with ranging from frustration and anger to sadness and fear.

This, alongside my constant worrying about how I was feeling in my mind and body, took me to some very low points. It was often difficult to feel true joy and happiness. I admit that at times I felt utterly lost, as though I was on completely the wrong path.

I took so much on board after losing my Mam and gradually started to build a more positive mindset, looking forward to the type of life I truly wanted to be living. The more clear I got on this vision, the more attached to it I became. It bred optimism and passion. So much so, that when I was faced with redundancy from my twenty-year career at Nike, I pivoted what initially felt like a catastrophe, to feel like the biggest opportunity of my life.

I’ve since invested so much into understanding the mindset and the impact it has on everything you think, feel and do. I know I have wasted an incredible amount of time worrying, and being bitter or upset because my life was so different to how I wanted it to be. I know now that the worrying didn’t push me to change anything. I understand that switching your thoughts to something more optimistic is what drives change. This attitude and positive frame of mind are what brings forth the things you dream of.

If you feel you want to change your life and live it differently, if you have dreams of living a life you can look back on as you near your end and feel happy, accomplished and proud, you need to get focused on making it happen.

The starting point is to be clear on what you want your life to be like - things like winning the lottery or becoming an instant millionaire are not quite the things you can dream up and just make happen, so go with what you want to build for yourself and the people around you. Tap into what this would mean to you and how it would make you feel. Picture yourself in this life, whether that’s one year from now or ten or twenty years. Step into this life you want to exist in, so you can feel what it’s like and become fully connected with it.

When you can imagine clearly who you want to be and how you want to live, it will spur you on to start thinking about the goals you need to put in place to get you there. You can then start setting small action steps each day and week, to gradually make the changes that need to happen.

“Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.”

— Michael Jordan

The biggest thing about feeling like you’re truly living the life you desire is to start living more in the present. This might sound conflicting to what I’ve talked about just above, but it’s not, it’s all part of you living with intent and purpose. Creating this dream life isn’t about focusing so hard on the result and pinning everything on being happy when you reach the finish line. It’s about knowing you are living now, in the present, in a way that is purposeful to your future self. It’s about having the courage to make changes that will bring more health, happiness, gratitude and optimism. To do this you need to enjoy the journey and know that the journey is as much an important part of your life dream, as all the changes and results you’ll experience in the future.

Being more present and accepting of who you are now, knowing what your purpose is and that you’re living with intent, is like a superpower. It gives you resilience, strength, gratitude, love and happiness. Once you know what you want your life to be like and are living with that in clear sight, taking small steps every day towards your ultimate vision, you will feel the impact very quickly. When you have these positive feelings, it breeds more positivity and happiness.

This is why I know that right now, although not everything in my life is the way I want it to be, not every part of how I live and feel is all rosy and perfect, I am happy with where I am at. This is because I know I’m on the right path, moving through the journey of my life the way I want to. I feel I have clarity on who I am, what I am about, what matters to me, what I want my legacy to be. This clarity has turned my life around so that I am no longer fearful, frustrated and bitter. Instead, I am driven, passionate and strong, because I know I am taking small steps every day to create the life I dream of.

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