RESOLUTIONS - Help or hindrance?

Resolutions are statements of intention, a promise to yourself to get something done. They’re about resolving to do something better, and usually come off the back of things you should of, but didn’t do the year before. By this very nature they tend to start out from a place of negativity and failing. When you set New Year resolutions you’re vowing to do them pretty much overnight, the start time being 12.01am 1st January. Can you really engage your motivation as simply as flipping a switch?

This is where the problem with resolutions begins.

It’s notable that many resolutions are focused on abstinence – giving up our bad habits to cleanse our bodies and our souls.
— Anna Katharina Schaffner, a cultural historian and author of The Art of Self-Improvement

Often people aim for extreme changes and many resolutions are based on putting restrictions in place. They are generally unrealistic and have high unachievable outcomes from the off. When you come from a place of restriction, this can have the exact opposite effect - it leads to you wanting it more, thinking about it constantly, resulting in you probably doing it even more than you did before you set the resolution!

Think about the times you’ve set a New Year resolution, say, for example, to stop eating chocolate. You expect like magic to be able to resist and make it happen the very next day. But instead you crave the chocolate, think about the taste of it, justify to yourself it would be ok to have only a little bit. Then you convince yourself you’ll finish off the Christmas chocolates first, and put the resolution firmly in place on January 10th - yes I’m talking from experience here.

Telling yourself you are or are not going to do something isn’t backed up with the motivation, plan or steps to make it happen. People tend to go with an all or nothing approach. You say what the resolution is, but there’s nothing backing it up to ensure you can achieve it. The expectation that you’ve set it so it will happen like a sprinkle of Disney magic is not, unfortunately, the way it actually plays out in real life.

Another challenge can be that you forget about having made them. You start out well the first few days because it’s sitting in the front of your conscious mind. But then life takes over, and the resolution dissolves as your subconscious mind kicks into full swing. Then you suddenly realise you’ve had three days of drinking coffee each morning when you’d told yourself you were kicking that little habit - oops!

The success rates for achieving your resolutions are pretty grim. It’s estimated that only 8% of people actually stick to their resolutions and accomplish them, with only 25% of people actually staying committed to their resolutions after 30 days.

So what should you do when we hit this turning point in our traditional calendar that we associate with new beginnings and fresh starts?

I think goals are the way forward. Goals are statements of commitment and usually much more positive, they’re about something you want to achieve rather than something you want to stop, which are what most people set with resolutions. They aren’t rigid, but more specific and actionable which results in them being way more effective.

They give you something to achieve and work backwards from, setting the right plan with small steps to take you to your desired outcome. They provide a direction to follow and ways to monitor your progress, adjusting and revising the plan as needed along the way.


Goals involve intention setting, planning, preparing, and taking realistic action. The more specific you get when breaking down your goals, the more likely it is that you’ll accomplish them. You want to make working on your goals a habit and something that becomes a natural part of your daily routine. Likewise, build in habits to regularly track and acknowledge your progress. Celebrating your wins and success on the journey is as important if not more so than celebrating when you achieve the final result. This helps to keep you motivated and aligned to what you want to achieve, preventing the early slip off we see when you make a resolution.


Here are my tips for goal setting to help you get clear, specific and stay on track throughout the year:

  1. Choose 3 things that you want to do, accomplish or work on this year.

  2. For each goal, create monthly milestones that you will work towards.

  3. Think about what obstacles might get in your way to achieving each goal and how you can handle it when it arises - things will be thrown at you and cause setbacks, but if you are ready to face them and handle them in the right way, you’ll quickly get back on track.

  4. Use the monthly milestones to build your weekly action plan every week, so you ensure you’re prioritising your time against your goals and staying committed to achieving them.

  5. Track your progress weekly and reflect on what’s working, make adjustments where needed.

  6. Celebrate your progress, wins and successes along the way - it’s important to not make everything about the finish line, but instead about the change and progress you’re making on the journey there.

The key is consistency. By following these steps, you’ll ensure you know exactly what you want to achieve and build the right steps to move forward with intention.

Whether your goals are personal or professional, when you’re making plans or setting weekly to-do lists, always ask yourself if what you’re putting on there is contributing towards your goal. If it isn’t, ask yourself if it really should be something you’re spending your time and energy on. If it’s not, delete it and forget about it. Try to make as much of what you do about progressing towards your desired outcome.

This is often why resolutions never stick. You set them and expect to be able to do it and more often than not, resolutions made at the start of a New Year are about stopping or removing things from your life. They aren’t followed up with clarifying why you want to do this and what it means to your life. You don’t create a plan to get you there, tracking what’s happening on the way. You simply expect it to happen because you’ve said you want it too.

Making just one small change in your daily repetitive routine is a crucial step to alleviate the resistance that comes with change.
— Julie Christopher, Biztuition CEO

By making a slight twist from setting a New Year’s resolution to setting a goal, you make them relevant, stronger and much more likely to be achieved.


If you’re thinking of making or already have made your 2022 resolutions, just go back to them and think about how to make them smarter. How can you pivot them into a goal with a very specific outcome, so you’re absolutely clear about what it is you’re going to achieve?

Can you switch the intention of the goal to change it from being an ‘avoidance’ goal such as ‘I will stop eating chocolate every day’, to an ‘approach’ goal, for example ‘I will snack on fruit or carrot sticks every afternoon’? This type of goal comes from a more positive starting point and is intentional, helping your mind to associate more than if it were something you were denying yourself.

Then, following my tips above, you can begin building a clear plan to take you forwards to achieve your goal.

Source: https://www.forbes.com/sites/ashiraprossack1/2018/12/31/goals-not-resolutions/?sh=154166193879

 

ARE YOU STRUGGLING TO MAKE THE SHIFTS YOU WANT TO EASE YOUR MENOPAUSE JOURNEY?

If you want to get your new year moving with the right goals but feel like it’s impossible to get off the starting block, download my FREE PDF guide below.

It’s packed with 10 powerful tips to help you know what will boost your energy and health by making small changes to your daily routines so you can feel better in menopause.

Download ‘10 Ways to Feel Good Again: Your Perimenopausal Revival Guide’ below:

Nicola Farndell

A health & wellness coach helping women to build daily habits for a healthy, strong, happy life.

https://www.lifenow.uk
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