WHY? - Why ‘Why’ might be the key to unlocking health & happiness

Goal settingFinding your purposeMaking changeHappiness

Nov 4

Why - it’s such a big word. Three letters yet so powerful. It’s a word dreaded by the ears of parents with young children.

I remember as a child my Mam used to get so annoyed with my constant questioning: “Why?”

“But why?”

“Why Mam?”!!

The answer, after my third ‘Why’ question, usually being something like, “Because it just is, that’s why!”

It’s funny, how as children we are curious about everything. We wonder about the simplest of things and our intrigue peaks from the pure wonder of everyday life. Kids look around, and see so many things they have to find out more about right that moment. Like, why do we see a rainbow, why do I have to eat peas, why do I have to put on a coat, why is Grandma old?

Yet as adults, we generally exist depleted of that intrigue and inquisitiveness. We accept things as they are, and get on with our daily lives. Slipping into routines and habits without question. With little wonder about why we’re doing them.

As I went through the weeks following my redundancy, I was pretty lost with what to do next. Working out what my next step to earning an income should be. On the advice of a colleague I’d already brainstormed what I knew, what I was good at, the knowledge and skills I had, and what all of these things might mean I’d like to do next in my career.

I was missing a piece though. I knew what I enjoyed and was experienced in, but I didn’t know what to do with it all because I hadn’t thought about my purpose. The missing piece was my ‘WHY’.

In Japan, there is an ancient ideology call ‘Ikigai’. It basically means a reason for being, the thing that gets you up in the morning. It’s how the Japanese wake up with joy and purpose each day. The belief is that by knowing a combination of things including what you know, are passionate about, can teach, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for, you find your purpose. When you know your purpose, you will only then have happiness and health and live a long, fulfilled life. And research has found that Japanese people who live by this philosophy, have a much longer than average lifespan.

Author Dan Buettner of ‘Blue Zones: Lessons on Living Longer from the People Who’ve Lived the Longest’ suggests making three lists: your values, things you like to do, and things you are good at. The cross section of the three lists is your Ikigai.

I didn’t dive into my Ikigai, but I did start questioning my Why. I thought about what I really wanted my life to be like, what goals did I have or want to set for my life, both short and long term. I thought about what mattered to me. I thought about the end; looking back on my life as it came to an end, and what would make me feel I’d lived a life that fulfilled me.

It might sound deep, but believe me, I’d not given it too much thought either before being in the situation I was in earlier this year. I’d been pretty consistent at having some life goals, but in reality they were just like post-its on a pin board. They were stuck up there, but rarely looked at, and no change was really happening to ever be able to tear them up, and throw them like confetti in celebration of having achieved it.

I did an exercise to determine and get clear on my Why.

I thought about what I wanted my life to be like. What changes did I want to make? What goals did I want to set myself?

Then I kept asking myself ‘Why?’

Why did I want my life to be like this? Why did this matter to me? Why was that important to me? Why would it make a difference to my life and happiness?

Lots of different ‘Whys’, and a few ‘Hows and Whats’ too!

If you can connect with your Why and feel passion towards it, this is what will help you to plan out how you live your life today. It will help keep you driven when your motivation drops, because it will, that’s life. It will give you the momentum to set and achieve the goals you need to get to your destination.

“You will find true happiness and success if you have only one goal: to fulfil the highest most truthful expression of yourself as a human being.”

— Oprah Winfrey

Once I’d figured out my Why, I began formulating my plan to launch Life Now Coaching. I was able to see what would fulfill and excite me, what I could make a difference with and be paid for. I was able to start putting goals in place; long, medium and short term’ to help me achieve my Why.

I vision it when I struggle with the overwhelm of everything I’m doing to build my business. When the self-doubt kicks in, I bring it to the front of my mind and picture how I will feel knowing I’m delivering on my purpose.

Look back to your childhood, or maybe look at your own children, if they’re still young enough! Their curiosity and desire to learn is something we as adults can be inspired by. Starting with the curiosity about ourselves and what we want our legacy to be.

This big picture will help you to build a life that you can be present in, by living each day in alignment with your purpose. It really will help you to achieve your goals. It could be your key to health and happiness.