What Mel Robbins taught me about change in midlife
Have you ever felt like you should be further ahead by now?
That thought used to sit heavy with me. I thought I had missed my chance to change, that midlife meant accepting that tired, stuck feeling as normal. Until I heard one sentence that changed everything:
“You are one decision away from a different life.”
When I heard this it totally resonated with me as I was in a season of life where I felt completely overwhelmed and lost, and it became a guide for how I began to rebuild trust in myself and create the life I wanted, one small decision at a time.
When it feels like you’ve missed your chance
In my mid-forties, after a 20-year career at Nike, everything changed overnight. For so long I felt like I was trapped in a washing machine spin cycle, performing on autopilot, exhausted, and anxious. When the pandemic hit, the stillness made me see I had been living on someone else’s terms for far too long. I realised how, and why, I was so stressed, and that I wasn’t in a career or relationship that fit who I was. Being made redundant and losing my job in 2021 was a shock, but it gave me something I hadn’t had in years: space to ask, “What do I actually want now?”
The truth was, I didn’t want to keep living in survival mode. I didn’t want to feel that life was always passing me by. Except I didn’t know what to do to make this any different, and I also didn’t believe I was someone who could change. But there was a flicker of light in my stomach for the first time in my adult life, guiding me to believe that finally, it might be time to create a life I loved.
Mel Robbins and the power of one decision
During this huge life season, I came across Mel Robbins, and her words hit me like a big thump to the head! I realised I had been waiting for motivation, for clarity, for the "right time." But Mel’s message was clear: action creates motivation, not the other way around.
Change doesn’t require an overhaul of your entire life overnight. It starts with one small decision to back yourself, to take a tiny step even when your hands are shaking and that noisy inner critic is telling you you’re not good enough. Each small step creates momentum, proving to your brain that you are capable and worthy of this change. And of course, eventually quietening that inner critic!
Mel Robbins live in London 2025
The question Mel opened up with during her live event in London was this: “This is the year that….” She prompted us to write this down in the gorgeous notebook we were gifted when we arrived, and complete it with what we ‘would’ be achieving this year.
The stories we tell ourselves matter
Mel taught me that what we tell our brain becomes our reality. If you keep telling yourself you’re stuck or too late, your brain will believe you. But if you start telling yourself you are capable, worthy, and allowed to want more, your brain will begin to look for evidence to support that belief.
It’s a process. It’s about showing up, gently and consistently, for the woman you are becoming.
You are not behind—and you can change
Midlife isn’t a deadline; it can be a doorway. You haven’t missed your chance. You are not too late to want more for yourself. You are allowed to choose yourself now, even if it feels scary. You are the only one who can make it happen. You can take back control of your life. It starts with one small decision today.
What I’ve taken into my life
Life now looks very different to how it was in early 2021. That glimmer of light (and hope) that I’d felt was the beginning of my transformation journey. Discovering Mel Robbins and her very direct perspective around being only one decision away from a different life became the catalyst for change, and growth. Everything from my career to my health, and my relationship changed. And of course, it’s all been for the better.
My life now is one that I feel in alignment to. Only because I took steps to get clear on who I am, what matters to me, and building a life that means I get to live this way. SO much so that a few weeks ago I headed to London, on my own, for a day trip to see Mel Robbins live at the Hammersmith Apollo as she toured for the launch of her new '“The Let Them Theory” book.
Sitting there on my own in the auditorium, watching Mel jump around on stage, hearing the support and acknowledgement from the mostly room of other women, filled me with self-pride and respect. I’d been so lost and low for so long. I lived with the belief that I was flawed, and somehow not good enough. I’d built a very convincing story of my worth, and the kind of life I deserved. Finding Mel online and beginning to watch and listen to what she had to share was a huge factor in me being able to do some deep inner work and take one small step after another to create the life I have today.
I’d love to share with you my top 5 Mel Robbins tips and truths I carry with me every day:
You’re not waiting on motivation, you’re waiting on yourself: motivation doesn’t come first—action does. You act your way into motivation.
Reps build self-worth: every time you show up for yourself, you prove to your brain that you matter. It’s not about perfection. It’s about evidence.
Pressure doesn’t create change—it creates resistance: and that includes self-pressure. Real change comes when we meet ourselves with compassion and then move forward with consistency.
Celebrate now: stop waiting until you’ve hit the big milestone to feel proud of yourself. If you’ve survived something hard, that alone is worth celebrating.
Your brain listens to what you tell it: Mel explains the science behind this so powerfully: your mind filters what’s important to you. So if you’re clear about what you want, your brain will help you get there. If you’re filling it with thoughts of self-doubt and criticism, this will become your reality.
Listen to the podcast as I share more on how Mel Robbins helped me to change my life:
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Ready to take that first small step towards feeling like yourself again?
You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight to start feeling clearer, calmer and more in control in midlife. Sometimes, it begins with one decision to prioritise yourself.
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Because you’re not behind, and it’s not too late to feel like yourself again (or better!).
