How to rebuild better sleep in midlife and menopause
You’re doing everything “right.”
You’ve cut back on sugar, started walking more, maybe even swapped your evening scroll for some reading. But the 3 a.m. wake-ups still come and you’re left wondering, “Why can’t I just sleep?”
If that sounds familiar, I want you to know this:
You’re not doing anything wrong.
You’re not broken.
Your sleep has shifted because you have shifted.
And now, it’s time to gently shift with it.
In a recent episode of Women’s Health Unwrapped, I sat down with sleep consultant Imogen Russell to explore why sleep often feels harder in midlife, and what we can actually do about it. If—like me—you’re struggling with midlife sleep changes and wondering how to sleep better in perimenopause, then read on. This isn’t about miracle cures or fancy supplements. It’s about understanding your body, tuning in to what it needs now, and building small, meaningful habits that support the rest you deserve.
What if your sleepless nights weren’t just random?
Most women I speak to haven’t been told why their sleep gets disrupted in midlife—they just start experiencing it and assume it’s part and parcel of their menopause journey, or associate it with a busy, stressful life. But understanding the why behind your disrupted sleep can be a game changer. I truly believe that when we have understanding of what actually shifts and changes in menopause, we are informed to make changes to improve how we feel and reduce menopause overwhelm.
Your hormones, especially oestrogen and progesterone, naturally begin to fluctuate in perimenopause. These shifts directly impact your circadian rhythm—your internal body clock—and your body’s ability to maintain deep, consistent sleep. These hormones can also affect your§ ability to regulate temperature—leading to some women experiencing night-time waking due to sweats, or even the opposite, cold shivers. Changes to your urinary system and pelvic floor might result in needing to go to the loo more often. And of course, other symptoms such as low mood and anxiety, or sleep disorders like sleep apnea that are associated with menopause can result in poor sleep.
According to Neuroscientist & Women's Brain Health Specialist Dr Lisa Mosconi: “There are intense shifts that seem specific to the female brain going through menopause. They can affect body temperature, mood, sleep, stress, and cognitive performance.” (1)
So when you’re lying awake at 3 a.m. wondering why your brain feels so wired, it’s not just “in your head.” It’s your biology. And knowing this helps you stop blaming yourself, and to be empowered to start working with your body instead of against it.
Understanding the science behind your changing sleep
Imogen explained two key sleep systems:
Circadian Rhythm: This is your body’s natural 24-hour clock, deeply influenced by light, temperature and activity levels.
Sleep Pressure: This builds throughout the day and is your body’s way of signalling when it needs to rest.
What most of us don’t realise is that modern life constantly interferes with both of these systems. Artificial light, irregular routines, caffeine, scrolling, shift work—all of it pushes us out of sync with what our bodies need.
One fascinating insight? Humans didn’t always sleep in one 8-hour block. Historically, our ancestors had biphasic sleep—two stretches of sleep broken up by a wakeful period in the middle of the night. This might explain why those 3 a.m. wake-ups feel so hard—they could be normal… but modern expectations make them stressful.
Looking at how we support our children to get good sleep can give us some insights into how we might “parent” ourselves to sleep better.
Why midlife is the moment to parent yourself (yes, really)
One of my favourite takeaways from Imogen? That we need to parent ourselves to sleep—just like we would with a baby or young child.
Think about it: we prepare our children for sleep with soothing music, soft lighting, gentle rituals and calm. But as adults, we often skip that entirely, expecting ourselves to switch off after hours of stimulation. This is something I have often discussed in my workshop on sleep or when Im chatting about it as a podcast guest and is met with huge “AHAs”!
What if you started treating your bedtime like a sacred ritual to help prepare your mind and body for a good nights sleep?
Light a candle or use a calming scent like lavender
Write down the day’s worries or tomorrow’s to-dos to quiet your mind
Avoid scrolling before bed and try a gentle puzzle, bath or book instead
Create an evening ritual of cleansing and moisturising your skin
These small actions aren’t fluff. They’re signals to your brain: “It’s safe to rest now.”
Small steps that create big shifts in how you sleep
There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but here are a few sleep tips for women over 40 that can really help to sleep better in menopause:
Get outside early: even 5–10 minutes of daylight first thing on a morning resets your circadian rhythm.
Delay caffeine: wait at least 90 minutes after waking before your first cup of coffee.
Create a “bedtime basket”: include sleep-friendly tools like an eye mask, essential oils, earplugs, a book or audio guide.
Be kind when you wake in the night: get up, do something calming, and return when you feel ready to rest again. Prepare for these wake-ups so you have what you need to manage and rebuild new sleep habits.
Aim for consistency: a consistent bedtime routine helps cue your body into a rhythm. Your body doesn’t differentiate between a Monday and a Saturday!
Most importantly—start small. One change at a time is enough.
It’s tempting to believe the answer lies in a product, a supplement or some perfect “hack.” But sleep isn’t something we force. It’s something we allow and that we create through our habits and lifestyle. And this starts during the day, not just when your head hits the pillow. So instead of chasing perfection, ask yourself:
What’s one small thing I can try this week to support my sleep?
Maybe it’s changing your morning habits.
Maybe it’s creating a bedtime ritual.
Maybe it’s simply being gentler with yourself when sleep feels hard.
Remember that sleep is linked to all of your other pillars of health, so focusing on your overall lifestyle and habits is the right approach to help you to sleep better in menopause.
Take one small step today to sleep better tonight
Swap your evening scroll for five minutes of journaling or stretching.
Try a calming scent or bath to cue your brain it’s time to wind down.
Step outside for natural daylight—even if it’s cloudy.
Remember: You’re not failing because your sleep has changed. This is a new season in your life, and you get to shape how you move through it.
Better sleep is possible. And it begins by treating yourself like someone worth caring for.
Listen to this podcast episode with Imogen Russell for more tips to sleep better in menopause:
Like this topic? Find out more with these additional FREE resources:
Get more insights from me on improving your sleep with my top 10 sleep tips in this podcast episode.
Take a look at this Instagram post from Dr Lisa Mosconi on the impact of menopause on our sleep.
Watch this podcast with Dr Louise Newson and Dr Lisa Mosconi delving into the link between menopause and brain health.
Read this article by Dr Louise Newson on sleep and hormones.
Struggling with sleep and low energy in midlife?
You are not alone—and you are not broken.
If you’re waking in the early hours unable to drift back off, or dragging yourself through the day feeling foggy and disconnected, it doesn’t have to stay this way.
My free Perimenopause Revival Guide will help you take small, manageable steps to support better sleep, rebuild your energy and feel more like you again—without overwhelm.
Inside, you’ll discover gentle, practical ways to calm your mind, support your body, and create habits that lay the groundwork for more restful nights and brighter days.
Click below to download your guide and begin your revival today.
