THE SECRET TO SUCCESS - Why building confidence will help achieve big results
I’ve always described myself as an unconfident person. I would compare myself to friends and colleagues who were able to speak out in crowds, and present with authority and presence, thinking they were super confident and I was right at the other end of the scale.
The way I believed my confidence to be meant I was always giving myself a heap of negative self-talk about how rubbish I was, how I wasn’t able to go for a promotion because I wasn’t capable, I would embarrass myself and everyone would know how useless I was.
I knew talking to myself like this was harsh and damaging to my mental health. I knew I should be talking to myself kinder, more supportive like I would to a friend. I also knew that I should be speaking to myself more positively, not to fluff over the fact I did have confidence issues in lots of areas, but because the way you speak to yourself is what you become. Me telling myself I was useless, incapable, and destined for failure, was adding to me becoming exactly all of those things.
As I built up my confidence, I realised very quickly that confidence was about so much more than I’d always viewed it, and that it affected so much more than I ever realised.
Confidence isn’t just about someone being able to stand in the front of a large room and speak, in fact for some very confident people, this is still the thing they fear and avoid the most! Self-confidence is about trusting yourself and your abilities. It’s about believing in yourself and knowing you will make the right decision or take the best action to get where you want to get. It’s about holding yourself accountable for your decisions, making difficult choices but knowing you’ve made them with the best process you could use.
It plays out in your life in so many ways and for me, the biggest learning was that building my self-confidence didn’t mean I could suddenly perform in a work environment that way I had struggled with for so many years, it meant I could see much clear who I was and what mattered to me in how I lived my life. It gave me the clarity to build my life the way I’d always wished it could be but had no idea how to create.
This is why I’m sharing below 5 reasons why building your confidence will bring you success. And, when I use the word success, this is an achievement for the things you want, whatever they might be - work, in your business, relationships, family, financial, social, health or even your personal development. It’s important to share this definition because success doesn’t equal happiness, which is how much of society has been raised and conditioned to believe. I talk a lot about helping you to feel happy, and for sure, having these types of successes is likely to give you happiness but it doesn’t equate to happiness, it contributes to it.
What I have experienced in myself and others is that it’s not the result that makes you feel successful and happy.; it’s the complete journey. As you build your confidence and start stepping into your power, making things happen the way you want them to, this in itself will bring you success and happiness.
Here are my top 5 ways that having self-confidence leads to you getting the results and success you desire:
1 - You are empowered
As your confidence grows so does your power. When you feel empowered you can try things, and take steps that you probably wouldn’t have done so before because they scared you or you thought you weren’t able to. Maybe you’ve held back from going for a promotion or starting your own business and now you feel empowered, you know you have as much chance of success as anyone else so you put yourself out there and take action. You know you can accomplish it which further drives your confidence in your ability to succeed.
2 - You take control
Being able to take control means you know exactly what you want to achieve and can create the right plan to make it happen. You’re able to tackle challenges and obstacles, building your resilience. This resilience enables you to keep going, changing direction more easily if needed, whilst keeping your goals clearly in sight.
3 - You believe in you
What more is needed to achieve success than self-belief? Listen to any athlete in the world being interviewed about their upcoming event and how they talk about their ability to be crowned champion. It all stems from their complete self-belief. When you believe you can do something you can attach yourself to the outcome, picture it, feel it, touch it, and make it seem like it’s real right now. This is proven to help you then take the right steps to make it a reality. I touched on this in the intro - what you tell your mind is what your mind thinks is real. It doesn’t differentiate between reality and fiction. Believing starts the process of creating the outcome you’re dreaming of.
4 - You know you matter
Having strong self-confidence helps you to know that you matter, and when you know this you want to give yourself the life you desire. You’re going to do whatever you can to live in alignment with your values and goals because you appreciate who you are, the life you have, that to be happy you need to do the things you know will make you happy.
5 - You know it’s ok to fail to be successful
A huge thing for me was always a fear of failure and what I thought failing meant - judgement, not being accepted, being banished from the tribe! As your confidence grows you are comfortable with trying things and knowing they might fail because you trust yourself to take what is the best decision at the time. You know that something not working out the way you thought it would doesn’t immediately mean you’re a complete loser who can’t do anything right and loses everything that matters to them. Instead, you know it’s all part of getting where you’re too. That it’s about evolving, learning, and finding new, better ways to do something. Without those failings along the way, you won’t achieve the success you’re reaching for.
Has this resonated with you and given you some inspiration? If you are struggling with low confidence, maybe only in certain areas of your life I want you to know that when you improve your confidence here, it’s going to make an immediate difference to how you feel and go after your goals. The success you want is well within your reach!
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