SICK OF BEING TOLD TO DO SELF CARE? - Here’s what self care really is and why nobody but you should be telling you to do it
Let’s start with getting clear on what self-care is not:
Self-care is not remembering to do something nice for yourself because you deserve it.
It’s not adding it to your already huge and unachievable to-do list.
Neither is it taking time out when you have more important stuff to do leaving you feeling pretty selfish.
Self-care is about taking care of yourself. That’s it!
I approach self-care as a minimum entry point to living a full and happy life - the life you dream of living. It’s not a luxury you have to remember to think about and then shove something into your day every few weeks. It’s also far from being something selfish. Self-care is selfless. You’re showing yourself that you value yourself and know you matter, it’s prioritising being the best version of yourself not only for yourself but for those around you too.
Taking care of yourself should always be at the top of your list. You need to understand and appreciate the importance of positioning your care as your number one priority. In doing this you will be setting yourself up to feel healthy, feel well, feel strong, and be able to focus on all the things you want to achieve each day in the right way.
Self-care is about doing what will make a positive difference to your health and wellbeing. It’s about making choices and building the right healthy habits for you that improve your quality of life. It also, and very critically, is an investment into you have the longest health span possible. We all want a long life span, to enjoy this one life we have. But we forget that we need health to make the most of the life we have. That’s why I focus on the health span and helping you to build a strong, healthy life, so you can have the freedom to enjoy your life throughout the whole of your lifetime.
There are five separate elements you should consider when thinking about what you need from a self-care perspective. How you rate and balance these will be your decision, based on what you need. We all need different things to make us feel good and healthy. The principles will be the same - to make a positive impact on how you feel and live - but what we do for each of the principles must be whatever works best for you.
The things you do will also change, even from one day to the next. Maybe one day your focus is much more on your mental health and doing things to help reduce anxiety or stress. Another day it could be that you need to focus on rest and relaxation to support your physical health. As your life changes your needs for what will help you to feel healthy and strong will also change. It’s important to understand that taking care of yourself will flex according to what’s going on in your world and what you need to function well based on this.
The five individual self-care elements are:
Physical
Mental
Emotional
Spiritual
Socially
Physical care is top because unless you are physically well and healthy, you’re going to struggle to function and achieve the type of life you want. Investing in building good, strong physical health is the foundation for living a long, happy life, it’s a springboard to bounce off to have all of the things you want within your life.
The key is to know yourself, to know what matters to you. Think about the values you hold and the goals you have. Think about who you need to be to achieve these goals and feel satisfied that you’re living in alignment with your values. This is the starting point to creating the habits that will best serve you to live in alignment and fulfil your dream life.
There are so many ways you can practice self-care within each of the five elements, there is no right or wrong way, only your way. This is why you need to be the person telling yourself to do self-care, it needs to come from within from a place of pure acceptance of yourself and the life you want to experience.
As a female business owner and someone with 24 years of experience working in global corporate brands, alongside being a parent and running my home, there are some key self-care practices I’ve put in place that have been hugely impactful to my wellbeing. These things have enabled me to build a strong mind, body and purpose. They have enabled me to overcome physical and mental health challenges so that I could begin to enjoy my life and reduce the anxiety, stress and overwhelm I struggled with for so many years. They are what’s shifted my mindset to one that is positive, optimistic and grateful for what I have.
The most impactful self-care habits I’ve built that now flow in my daily routines and lifestyle are:
Daily focus on moving my body to build strong physical health. I love to get outside for walks to start my day, even a short 10 or 15 minute one. I feel so much better in so many ways after completing a workout and listen to my body to know what I need and should focus on. Sometimes this is strength training with weights, other times it’s boxing whilst listening to some old school dance music, other times it’s just heading out for a walk.
Fuelling my body with a wide range of plant-based foods and being considerate of what my body needs to function well, without restricting or eliminating anything from my diet.
Recognising that the way I speak to myself is the most impactful and important voice I hear. This means being kind and supportive to myself, using a coach approach rather than being my worst critic - which I was for a very long time!
Starting my day in a way that sets me up to be energised and focused. This has included for many years drinking hot water with lemon juice soon after waking before I put anything else into my body. I think about the day ahead and set my intentions for what I need to focus on and think about the person I want to show up as that day.
Taking time to rest and restore. This comes not only through sleep but by things like a short afternoon meditation or listening to a podcast whilst I prep the tea. Rest isn’t about doing nothing, not all the time and not for every person. We also get rest and restore ourselves in non-passive ways that work for us, so I do what I know will help me to step away from the hustle mode I might be stuck in, or the low mood I can’t snap out of.
The most important takeaway I want you to have is that self-care is vital to your happiness. Caring for yourself is the ultimate way to build your self-worth and enable you to achieve the life you want. It’s coming from a place of love, compassion and respect. It’s what will set you up to accomplish the changes you wish you could make and the life you’re striving to build.
Take a look at what you do to care for yourself and check in with what you’re missing that you need more of right now. How can you do something today to make you feel better where you have this gap? Imagine how great it will feel when you know you’ve taken a step to help yourself feel better? Now, take that step!
Want to know you’re worth taking care of?
Do you constantly tell yourself you should take batter care of yourself but then it never happens?
Are you always putting off making the changes you wish you could because you don’t think you have it in you?
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