HOW TO BELIEVE YOU ARE WORTH IT - Know you matter

Personal developmentSelf worthHappinessWellness

Jun 29

I was sitting having a drink with a friend, and she was filling me in on her new job. She told me how demanding the job was and how much she was struggling to balance everything this new job was throwing her way alongside taking care of her young kids, the house, the husband, seeing her wider family, staying in touch with friends, and then right at the end of the list was her.

This isn’t something that surprised me, it more upset me. I hear so many women talk about everything they have to do, all the stuff that falls only onto their shoulders, and the impact it is having on them.

They feel out of control, caught up in a spin cycle, and always jumping from one thing straight to another. It makes them feel overwhelmed, drained, fed-up, stuck, and more than anything, pretty negative about the way they live and feel.

I know how my friend feels so I have a lot of empathy for her. I was the same. I juggled a full-time corporate career that was far from being a 9-5 type role. I worked long days and spent lots of time away from home for many years, packing my bag to get the early non-stop flyer to London from Newcastle, returning a couple of days later exhausted and straight into catch-up mode - washing, cleaning, time with my daughter, cooking, etc.

It’s very common for many women to still carry the lion's share of the family and home responsibilities, on top of their full-time jobs. I know some families have evolved to be more equally split in terms of the overall responsibilities, but there are also still many who have not. This results in the woman, whether there are kids or not, carrying a huge amount of responsibility for the home, finances, family, work and much more.

What we’re seeing in Western society now, is the impact of this. It’s increasing mental health issues and other health problems. The toll of doing a lot, and often too much, is starting to show in the cracks many people are experiencing.

In my situation, I eventually made improvements that helped me to have more control. It didn’t necessarily reduce the volume of stuff I had to do, but because I was stronger mentally and physically, I felt better. The way I got stronger was through realising that I needed to take better care of myself. The reason I realised this was because I hit a wall, more than once.

This is the thing you see, so many women only shout out for help or become aware they even need help, when they hit a wall. It might be some kind of breakdown, suffering from depression, facing other health problems, or worse still, being diagnosed with a life-threatening disease. It takes something drastic and almost life-stopping to see that things can’t continue the way they were.

This is why I help more women to realise their worth. To understand why they matter, along with all the other stuff they need to take care of. When I hear a friend or client talk about their life, their problems, or the things they wish were different, they put themselves so far down the list, or sometimes don’t even mention themselves at all. When I ask about why this is, the answer is usually something like “Oh, I don’t have any time to do anything for me”, followed by “I’d feel too guilty taking time out for me”.

I want you to know that you are worth taking time out for. I want to help you see that by investing in your wellbeing, you will become stronger and this will actually help with the rest of your ‘stuff’. The guilt that you feel over taking care of yourself needs to change because taking care of yourself will improve so many areas of your life, including giving more to others, not taking away from them.

Here are my top 10 tips to help you believe why you are worth being the strongest, best version of yourself:

When you take care of yourself you are showing the utmost respect to yourself and this in itself is very empowering.
The empowerment you feel has a ripple effect which helps to lift your mood, energy and confidence.
When you become more confident, you can achieve more of the things you’re putting off right now.
You have one life and you want to live it the best you can, so you need to know that you’re only going to do this when you think about what it is you need to be the best version of yourself and put this in place.
You go through many different stages of your life as a woman, and you need different support to be healthy and well at each stage. Having awareness of this to put the right habits in place for the different seasons of your life helps you to stay strong and healthy through each of them.
Taking care of yourself is a huge investment towards you having the longest health span possible. You want a long life span, but you also want that life to be a healthy one, where you are active and can function with ease.
When you feel good about yourself, you are so much more capable of dealing with change and challenges.
Feeling stronger and living your life with more control will no doubt improve your happiness in many ways.
When you feel happier, more confident, driven and energised, it will also lift those around you and help them to feel these things.
Showing others, especially your children, the way to build the right healthy habits to take care of yourself, models to them a healthy lifestyle they see as normal and adopt for themselves.

What resonates with you the most from my top 10?

Is there something that jumps out that you’ve been feeling you want to know you’re achieving in your life right now?

When you realise why you matter, why you are so very worth taking care of, you will have greater self-esteem, self-belief, and self-love. All of these things have such a big impact on your overall health and happiness. The amazing thing is that when you start to shift the way you feel in these beliefs about yourself, you start to see your worth much more and it helps you build habits that support the bigger picture you have for your life.

Think about what you can do right now, today, so start building the belief in yourself that you are worth taking care of, that you matter in your life. When you put yourself first and see that taking care of yourself is not an indulgence or that you should feel guilty about, you will find taking the steps you need to feel better, to get more in control, will be much easier to work through and implement.