Why moving your body in midlife is about strong not skinny
Movement in midlife: It’s time to stop obsessing over skinny
How do you feel in your body right now?
If your answer is “tired,” “stuck,” or “a bit lost,” you’re not alone. For many women in midlife, the word exercise brings up a mix of dread, guilt, or even shame. We’ve been told for years that movement is about losing weight, fixing ourselves, fitting in, or punishing our bodies for what they’ve done (or not done). No wonder so many of us have a complicated relationship with it.
But here’s what I know to be true now - movement is so much more than that. It’s not about shrinking yourself. It’s about becoming more of yourself.
It’s not about weight. It’s about freedom, strength, and feeling alive.
LI”m going to take you on a little journey, back to where this all started for me…
From PE dread to Personal Trainer: My story
If you’d told teenage Nicola that one day she’d be a personal trainer, I would’ve laughed, and felt pretty embarrassed at the thought. PE was a source of stress, embarrassment and discomfort throughout most of my school years, particularly at secondary school. I didn’t feel sporty, coordinated, or confident. I felt useless, ashamed, lacking. I dreaded the outdoor summer sports season when games of rounders meant teams being picked while I waited until last to be called out, lowering my head with shame.
Like so many women, I spent years believing that movement just wasn’t “for me.”
In my twenties, I joined a gym because I thought I needed to lose weight to feel better - to fix what was wrong with me. I didn’t really enjoy it. I dipped in and out, starting each new year full of good intetnions. I forced myself to go, but never really felt connected to what I was doing. I just told myself I had to do it so I could look a certain way.
It wasn’t until I was almost 40, following Joe Wicks workouts, even doing them on a family holiday in Florida, that something clicked. For the first time, I felt strong. Capable. Alive. And soon after, movement stopped being about how I looked - and started being about how I felt.
That shift changed everything. Only a few years later, I became a PT at the age of 45. Not because I wanted to help women lose weight, but because I wanted to help them feel strong, resilient, and in control.
Why weight loss isn’t the goal - Strength is
Let’s be real: most of us grew up believing that exercise = thinness. And if we weren’t seeing a smaller number on the scale, it “wasn’t working.” But here’s the truth: weight loss is not the route to health - especially in midlife. And exercise alone is not the magic bullet to lose weight if this is a goal for you. Instead, strength training - lifting weights, using resistance bands or even just your bodyweight - is one of the most effective things you can do for:
Your bone health (hello, osteoporosis prevention - did you know that 1 in 2 women will be diagnosed with osteoporosis?)
Your metabolism (especially as oestrogen shifts)
Your mental health (it’s the best mood-booster and way of building strong mental health that I know)
Your identity (movement becomes who you are, not just what you do)
Strength is freedom. It’s energy. It’s clarity. It’s confidence.
There is so much that exercise - or as I call it “moving your body”- improves, and most of all, it’s available to you today.
There are so many ways to move more, and a tonne of ways to workout at home without the need for lots of space or equipment. You don’t have to go to a gym!
What the Science Says About Moving Through Menopause
We know that perimenopause and menopause bring about significant hormonal changes. Muscle mass declines, insulin resistance increases, and brain fog, fatigue, and anxiety can creep in. The good news? Movement can help manage all of this - and more. Whether or not you choose to take hormones to help you navigate menopause (HRT), movement should be a key lifestyle pillar that you embed into your habits and routines.
💪 Dr. Stacey Sims advocates heavy resistance training for women in perimenopause to slow muscle loss and build strength.
🧠 Dr. Lisa Mosconi links regular movement with better brain health, memory, and reduced Alzheimer’s risk.
🦴 Dr. Vonda Wright, orthopaedic surgeon, champions movement for bone density and long-term mobility.
🧬 Dr. Gabrielle Lyon calls muscle the “currency of longevity” - and she’s absolutely right.
Movement doesn’t need to be extreme. You don’t have to “beast” yourself. You just need to be consistent, and intentional.
Longevity starts now: Movement as future medicine
I don’t move now just to feel good today - I move for my 80-year-old self. I want to drive, carry my own shopping, get on and off the toilet unaided, and lift up my grandkids (if my daughter ever changes her mind!).
This kind of independence doesn’t come from dieting or wishing. It comes from building strength now, with the habits and tools we can control. And it’s never too late to start. One of my favourite inspirations is Train With Joan - a woman who started her fitness journey in her 70s and now deadlifts more than most people in their 30s. She really is someone you should check out if you’re doubting the impact of starting out with exercise or strength training in midlife.
Joan says: “Love yourself enough to choose life.”
My attitude to exercising was also influence by the health of my Mam. She struggled with mental and physical health challenges which re-enforced to me the importance of working out for strong heart, brain, bone, muscle and joint health. I’m determined to know that I’m taking action to protect my health as I age.
So many of us obsess over our skin - trying to avoid every line or wrinkle we can - and holding off every pound at whatever cost, but we miss what can really make a difference to the way we age.
How to shift from having a skinny to strong approach
Maybe you’re reading this and thinking, “That sounds great, but I haven’t moved in years.” That’s okay., you don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to begin.
Here’s how you can start building a new movement habit today:
Start small
Pick something you enjoy - dancing in the kitchen, walking with a podcast, a 5-minute stretch. It all counts. Make your starting point much smaller than you think.
Most women fail because they set too big a goal - like going to the gym 4 times a week. You’re becoming a person who has this kind of habit, so remember change doesn’t happen overnight.
Stack it
Pair your new habit with something you already do as this helps to form it as a habit. Perhaps this is doing some lunges while boiling the kettle for your morning coffee, or squatting while brushing your teeth. Make it easy and think about where in your day it’s going to be easiest to add movement.
Stay consistent
Focus on how it makes you feel, not how many calories you’ve burned. Let that be your motivation. Set yourself small goals for each week and reflect on what you’ve done to achieve these and you feel. Know that every single rep - literally - that you’re building better health and wellbeing.
Your strong second half starts here and now
Midlife isn’t the end of anything. It’s the start of a chapter where you get to choose how you live, how you move, and how strong you feel. Movement is your gateway back to energy, confidence, and clarity. Menopause symptoms are shown to improve or even be prevented when you build stronger health through exercise.
It’s not about doing it all. It’s about doing something, and doing it for you so you can feel the way you want to feel, not because you have to do it.
So ask yourself: what’s one thing you could do in the next 24 hours to move your body in a way that supports the life you want to live?
That one small step might just be the beginning of everything.
Want more inspiration on getting started with building a strong mind and body in midlife? Take a listen to the accompanying podcast episode with Nicola below:
Like this topic? Find out more with these additional FREE resources:
Take a listen to my other podcast episode where I share how I finally ditched dieting and changed my relationship with food
Check out this insightful and inspiring episode with Dr Vonda Wright on the Mel Robbins podcast
Make sure you go and take a look at the content from Train With Joan on Instagram
If you’re ready to start building a strong, healthier life so you can thrive through menopause and beyond…
Get my FREE guide packed with 10 powerful tips to help you build habits that will reduce menopause overwhelm, boost your energy, improve your diet, and help you to move your body more. Download it below:
‘10 Ways to Feel Good Again: Your Perimenopausal Revival Guide’
