Breaking the anxiety loop in menopause: Tools, habits and hope

Aug 13

When anxiety becomes more than just nerves

For many women, anxiety isn’t new. But for others, menopause brings it crashing into their lives for the first time — and it’s not the kind of “pre‑presentation jitters” they might expect. It can feel like your heart’s skipping beats, your chest is tightening, and your thoughts are racing towards worst‑case scenarios that haven’t even happened. It can stop you driving on the motorway, keep you awake at 3am, or make once‑enjoyable social events feel impossible.

I understand this more than most. Anxiety has been part of my life since I was 19, taking the form of intense panic attacks for 26 years. Back then, it wasn’t something we spoke about — my GP dismissed it as “just another one of those funny turns.” I carried the stigma in silence, convinced it meant I was weak and flawed. It took decades for me to realise the truth: I wasn’t weak at all. And neither are you.

Why menopause can be the trigger

Hormones don’t just control your cycle — they play a huge role in your mental health.
Oestrogen boosts serotonin (your happy hormone) and keeps cortisol (your stress hormone) in check. Progesterone has a calming, stabilising effect. Testosterone supports mental stamina and focus.
When these hormones decline and fluctuate during menopause, brain chemistry shifts — like Wi‑Fi dropping in and out. This can make your internal “alarm system” (the amygdala) overly sensitive, triggering fight, flight, or freeze responses to situations that wouldn’t have bothered you before.

If you’ve ever experienced PMS, postnatal anxiety, or mood changes in the past, you might be more sensitive to these shifts — but even women who’ve never had anxiety before can be affected.

The ‘Psychological Loop of Menopause’

Anxiety in menopause isn’t just physical or just emotional — it’s both, feeding off each other in a loop.
You might notice your heart racing, or worry about your memory failing you, then think: What if something’s wrong with me? Those thoughts create more anxiety, which triggers more symptoms, which confirm your fears. Add in thoughts about ageing, life changes, or loss of fertility, and it’s easy to feel trapped.

This loop isn’t “all in your head” — it’s a real, exhausting cycle that impacts your whole being. Recognising it is the first step to breaking it.

I’m going to share with you some tools you can try out to help you manage anxiety when it hits, and to prevent anxiety from occurring — by building stronger mental and physical health, and resilience.

Brown haired woman with her eyes closed, head tipped back, hand on her chest breathing as she stands in a field grounding herself to relieve anxiety. — **Layer One: In‑the‑moment tools for calming anxiety**

When anxiety strikes, you need something you can reach for instantly — like a Swiss army knife for your nervous system:
**Box Breathing**: Inhale through your nose for 4, hold for 4, exhale through your mouth for 4, hold for 4.
**Grounding with the Five Senses**: Notice 5 things you see, 4 touch, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste.
**Creative Distraction**: Journaling, doodling, or note‑taking to shift your brain into action mode.
**Reframing Thoughts**: Hand on your heart, telling yourself: *“I’m okay.* *I am safe. I am loved.” (One of my favourites that I started using a few years ago from* *Mel Robbins*)
**Practised regularly, these become second nature = new habits.**

Layer Two: Building a strong foundation for mental health

The long‑term solution isn’t just reacting to anxiety — it’s building resilience so your body and mind are better equipped to handle stress. The five pillars of my RESET plan that I work with clients on to do this are:

Mindset: Self‑compassion and reframing menopause as a season of renewal.
Movement: Strength training and daily walking for mental and physical health.
Nutrition: Supporting the gut–brain axis with diverse, fibre‑rich foods and reducing processed sugar. Focusing on quality to fuel both your mind and body.
Sleep: Consistent routines to support hormonal balance and emotional stability.
Stress: Learning to recognise your stress triggers and making small changes to reduce their impact. This could be setting healthy boundaries, carving out regular moments of rest, or choosing more uplifting ways to spend your time. Stress is part of life, but by managing it proactively, you protect your energy, support your mental health, and create space for your body to feel safe again.

You’re not broken — You’re evolving

Anxiety in menopause is common, but it’s not inevitable — and it’s not permanent. You are not weak. Nor are you stuck feeling this way forever. You’re experiencing a physical, hormonal, and emotional shift, and with the right tools and habits, you can calm the alarm, quiet the loop, and feel more like yourself again.

If this resonates with you, choose one tool — maybe box breathing or a morning walk — and start today. Small steps really do create big change.