Why Emotional Eating Isn’t About Food
What are you really hungry for?
You’re tired of always starting over with yet another new diet or healthy eating plan. You know what to eat. You know how to eat. And yet, you keep reaching for the snacks, the sugar, the comfort foods — especially when life feels too much.
But what if the problem isn’t your willpower?
What if it’s the life you’re living that’s pushing you toward the food?
In this blog I unpack a powerful conversation from my podcast with Tricia Nelson, expert in emotional eating, about why food isn’t the issue — and what to focus on instead if you want lasting freedom.
Many of the women I coach and work with are struggling with how they’re feeling about themselves as they navigate perimenopause and menopause — weight gain, changes in their physical appearance, reduced confidence and self-belief, low energy, overwhelm — and they are ready to break free from years of focusing their energy, effort and belief that the route to a healthier and happier life is by going on another diet.
In midlife it’s time to shift these beliefs and outdated narratives. It is time to understand what'‘s really going on in your relationship with food.
When food becomes a coping mechanism
Here’s the truth behind emotional eating: emotional eating isn’t about lack of discipline. It’s about survival.
For many women, food has become a way to manage stress, numb out discomfort, and feel a moment of pleasure in an overwhelming day. And often, you don’t even realise you’re doing it.
As Tricia shared: “We eat because we don’t feel good and we want to feel better.”
I’ve certainly found myself opening the fridge or cupboard door, seeking something to make me feel better, or even to continue a feeling of joy or happiness. You want to shift your state of emotion and how you feel, and we’ve been taught that food can do this for us.
The truth about the diet industry
The diet industry is huge. The global weight loss market was valued at approximately $163.13 billion in 2024 and is expected to exceed $362.1 billion by 2034.
Diets aren’t designed to deal with why you eat. They take away the food, but they don’t give you anything to replace it. No emotional tools. No real-life strategies. Just rules.
It’s no wonder 98% of diets fail and why on average most women spend around a quarter of their lives “on a diet”.
If you’ve ever lost the weight only to regain it, or found yourself hiding food wrappers in shame, this is your reminder: the problem isn’t you. It’s the approach.
And the world you live in that is shifting your behaviours and relationship with food.
You’re not weak — You’re overstretched
Many midlife women are emotional eaters without realising it. If you’re always doing for others, saying yes when you want to say no, and craving a reward at the end of a long day —you’re not alone.
“We get praised for doing it all,” Tricia says, “but inside we’re exhausted — and then we eat to cope.”
This isn’t a food issue. It’s a living issue. It’s an output of you stretching yourself and most likely putting the needs and happiness of others before your own.
Maybe you’re already aware that you’re a “people pleaser” type, or perhaps it’s something that you’ve not yet put a label on, but can associate with.
Don’t worry, you’re not alone. 56% of women identify as people pleasers, considerably higher than the number of men who would describe themselves this way.
But there is a cost of saying yes too often:
You end up with no time to care for yourself.
You feel resentful and unappreciated.
You reward yourself with food — because no one else is.
This pattern isn’t just depleting your energy. It’s disconnecting you from your worth.
Meet the PEP formula: Your self-awareness toolkit
Tricia’s PEP formula helps you pause before you reach for the biscuit tin and ask: “what am I really hungry for?”
The formula isn’t about judging your habits. It’s about seeing them clearly so you can start to choose differently.
P = Painkiller
You use food to dull discomfort — whether it’s physical, emotional or mental stress. That moment of “I need something sweet” is often a signal of pain (discomfort), not hunger.
E = Escape
Your mind’s spinning. You’re overthinking again. Food becomes your fast track to numbing out and getting a few moments of peace.
P = Punishment
You binge, you feel bloated, you cancel your plans. Food might feel like a reward — but the aftermath tells the truth. It’s punishment in disguise.
Your key takeaways:
Diets fail because they ignore the emotional root of overeating.
People pleasing and perfectionism are often hidden drivers of binge or emotional eating behaviour.
Emotional eating is not about food, it’s about how you feel.
Meditation, journaling and creating space in your day can help restore self-trust.
Support and community are essential for sustainable change. This includes the support and compassion you give yourself.
What next?
Are you ready to feel more like yourself again?
Start with curiosity. When you feel yourself reaching for food, especially outside of your usual meal times, ask yourself: “what am I really hungry for?”
Notice how you’re feeling and what came up before you went to reach for something to eat.
Then take one small step toward nourishing your inner world — whether that’s clearing space in your day, starting a morning ritual, or simply noticing when food becomes your coping tool.
And if this resonates with you, pass it on. Let’s help more women stop the overwhelm — not just the overeating.
Listen to the full conversation with Tricia to get more on navigating emotional eating:
Interested in this topic? Find out more with these additional FREE resources:
Listen to this episode where I dive deeper into all things diets and why you should never go on a diet again.
Check out one of my first episodes with guest Ashley Carlotta on emotional eating - it’s in the top 10 most listened to list from all my podcasts!
Read this blog from CALM with 10 tips on how to stop being a people pleaser.
Get more insights from this BOOTS blog on breaking the cycle of emotional eating.
Are you constantly reaching for food to cope, but not sure why?
Midlife has a way of catching up with you. The constant overthinking. The need to hold it all together. The snacks that feel like the only thing getting you through the day.
The Midlife Reset Quiz helps you:
💛 Spot what’s quietly draining you right now (it’s probably not what you think)
💛 Choose one small ritual to start reconnecting with yourself
💛 Begin shifting how you feel without another diet, plan or pressure
It only takes 2 minutes — because simple is what you need.
✨ Take the Midlife Reset Quiz today and uncover your next right step to feel more like you again.
