How I finally stopped dieting and transformed my relationship with food

DietHealthy Eating in MenopauseSelf worthWomen's Health

Feb 19

Breaking free from the dieting cycle

For years, I was stuck in a never-ending cycle—starting a new diet every Monday, feeling motivated for a few days, and then by the weekend, giving in to old habits, followed by overwhelming guilt. It wasn’t just about the food; it was about self-worth, confidence, and a constant feeling of failure. Sound familiar?

If you’ve spent years trying different diets, chasing a number on the scale, and feeling like nothing ever truly works, this blog post is for you. I want to share how I finally stopped dieting for good and built a healthier, more sustainable relationship with food—without the guilt, restriction, or endless cycle of starting over.

The dieting mindset: Why we get stuck

Diets are sold to us as the solution to happiness, confidence, and success. We believe that once we reach a certain weight, everything in life will magically fall into place. But that’s not how it works.

Most diets fail because they are temporary, restrictive, and don’t address the deeper reasons why we struggle with food in the first place. According to research from Zoe Science & Nutrition, weight alone is not the best predictor of health—gut health, metabolic function, and the quality of the food we eat play a far greater role.

So how do we break free? By shifting our focus from weight loss to overall well-being.

How I stopped dieting for good

1. I stopped tying my worth to my weight

For years, I thought losing weight would make me feel confident, happy, and worthy. But no matter how much I lost, I always found something else to fix. When I finally realised that my worth wasn’t dictated by a number on the scale, everything changed.

Instead of measuring success by weight, I started focusing on energy levels, strength, and how I felt in my own body. I learned to celebrate movement, good nutrition, and the simple joy of feeling good—not just looking a certain way.

Reflection: What if you focused on how you want to feel rather than how you want to look?

2. I shifted from restriction to nourishment

For so long, I saw food as the enemy—something to control, measure, and restrict. But food isn’t just fuel; it’s nourishment for both body and mind.

Instead of obsessing over calories, I started thinking about how food made me feel. What gave me energy? What helped my digestion? What supported my mood? Research from Professor Tim Spector highlights the importance of gut health, dietary diversity, and the role of whole foods over processed diet products.

Once I started focusing on what to add to my diet instead of what to cut out, everything felt easier and more enjoyable. No more good vs. bad foods—just balance, enjoyment, and a sense of control.

Try This: Instead of eliminating foods, focus on adding more variety, colours, and nutrients to your plate.

3. I addressed my emotional connection to food

Diets don’t teach us how to handle stress, emotions, or deeply ingrained food habits. Like many women, I used food as a comfort, a reward, and even a way to self-soothe during difficult times.

Breaking free from dieting meant recognising these emotional triggers and finding other ways to cope—journaling, movement, mindfulness, and simply allowing myself to feel emotions rather than suppressing them with food.

Ask Yourself: Are you eating because you’re hungry or because you’re seeking comfort? What else could support you in that moment?

Nicola Farndell standing next to Joe Wicks The Body Coach showing their strong biceps looking at the camera. — **Feeling strong is most important to me.**

“I used to eat with guilt, always second-guessing my choices. Now, I eat with intention—knowing that every meal is a way to support my energy, my mood, and my future health.”

The truth about weight and health

I want to clarify something important at this point: weight does matter for health, but it’s not the only thing that matters.

Obesity is linked to increased risks of chronic diseases like type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and certain cancers, but health isn’t just about size—it’s about metabolic function, diet quality, movement, stress management, and overall well-being.

Instead of obsessing over weight loss as the only measure of success, focus on building a lifestyle that supports your long-term health and happiness. When you nourish your body well, manage stress, and move in ways you enjoy, your body will naturally find its healthiest weight.

Too many women are spending years locked in a cycle of dieting, obsessing over their weight, and sadly, this is exasperated in perimenopause and menopause when hormonal changes often lead to a change in body shape and size, and weight gain.

Ask Yourself: Do I really want to spend even more of my life focusing only on losing weight and potentially missing what I could do to improve my overall health and feel so much more energised and happy?

Key Takeaways: How to break free from dieting

✔ Your worth is not tied to your weight – confidence and happiness come from how you feel, not a number.
✔ Food is about nourishment, not punishment – focus on what makes you feel energised and strong.
✔ Emotions impact eating habits – recognising triggers can help you develop a healthier relationship with food.
✔ Health isn’t just about weight – overall well-being matters more than a number on the scale.