How to stop dieting and feel good in midlife

DietWeight lossHealthy Eating in MenopauseConfidence

May 7

Rethinking dieting in midlife – What if there's a better way?

The message women hear for most of their lives is this: if you're not happy in your body, just go on a diet. If you don’t feel confident, get confident by losing weight. If you don’t feel good enough, it’s because you aren’t the right weight or clothes size.

And many of us have been fed these beliefs form a young age, conditioned by society to think that losing weight through dieting is the unlock to fixing whatever we don’t like about ourselves, or what doesn’t feel right. We buy the shakes, cut the carbs, count the calories. But what if the problem isn't your body, size or shape, but the belief that your weight is the problem? And that the only route to confidence, happiness and health is by focusing only on your weight?

I recently chatted with personal trainer and coach Nikki Clarke for my Women’s Health Unwrapped podcast about the work he does to help women stop dieting and start focusing on their self-worth. His work is rooted in supporting women to feel better, not just weigh less. And I couldn’t be more aligned with that message.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in the loop of dieting, losing, regaining, and starting over, this is for you. Let’s unwrap how to shift from chasing short-term fixes to building long-term health and confidence. It’s time to stop dieting and to start living.

The turning point – Why diets don't work (again)

When Nikki works with clients, he often asks them to list every diet they've ever tried and what happened. The patterns are clear:

Unrealistic plans that don’t fit real life.
Extreme restriction followed by burnout.
Constantly starting again after "failing".

And that doesn’t even touch on the emotional toll: low energy, guilt, shame, frustration.

Instead of asking "How much weight can I lose in 30 days?", Nikki encourages a new question: How do I want to feel in 30 days? Energised? Clear-headed? More confident?

When you focus on feeling good, you naturally make more aligned choices.

A woman in her white kitchen enjoying preparing a healthy meal so that she feels satisfied and energised by what she eats in her diet. — Focusing on how you want to feel and creating a positive relationship with food to use it as a way to nourish you is so empowering.

From short-term goals to long-term change

Change doesn’t come from an overhaul. It comes from consistent small steps like these:

Planning workouts and meals weekly keeps stress low and habits simple.
Starting with what feels doable (like 2 workouts a week) builds consistency.
Evaluating progress monthly helps you stay on track without pressure.

It’s not about doing more. It’s about doing what works for you. Creating long-term change, which in midlife as we navigate menopause is something we must switch our mindset towards. We need to focus on our long-term health and investing in our future strength, mobility, cognitive function, rather than trying to quickly lose weight to feel good for perhaps only a few weeks or months, and then bounce right back to the starting line again.

Weight loss isn't the goal – feeling good is

Yes, many midlife women want to lose weight. Nikki isn’t anti-weight loss. Hell, I’d like to lose a bit of weight right now as perimenopause has seen my hips and tummy grow a little! The problem isn’t about wanting to lose weight. It’s the belief and attitude about weight loss being the only way to feel better, and the approach to losing weight that matters. Diets focus on restriction and so many women are stuck in a dieting cycle that sees that yo-yoing between one diet to the next, causing havoc for their hormones. Sustainable health focuses on nourishment, strength, energy and joy. It becomes a part of who you are, for life. No more yo-yoing, no more quick fixes, no more restriction, denial, guilt and shame.

The route to shifting away from dieting is about:

Understanding your body's needs.
Prioritising food quality (not just calories).
Respecting your hormones, especially during perimenopause and menopause.
Appreciating that it needs a 360 approach—it’s not only about food.

Nikki reminds us that so much of what we’ve been told is wrong. You don’t need to accept feeling rubbish. You can feel better. And you don’t need to go it alone.

What does your future self look like?

Imagine yourself a year from now. How do you want to feel? What are you doing? What are you no longer stressing about?

Use that vision as your guide. Start now with:

Get clear on your why – go beyond "I want to lose weight". What do you really want?
Take small daily actions – habits that fit your life, not the other way around.
Check in monthly – reflect without judgement, and adapt as you go.

You are not broken. You do not need fixing.

Nikki’s message is one I hope every woman hears: your body is not the problem. You don't need to shrink to be worthy. Instead, it’s time to build strong health from the inside out. In my journey this mindset shift has been a game changer in how I now live and feel—and most importantly, in how I manage my own menopause season of life.

Midlife is not a time to give up or accept it’s just the way it has to be. It’s your opportunity to tune in. Make this the season you finally stop dieting and start living.

Listen to the podcast episode with Nikki Clarke on how to rethink dieting in midlife:

Listen to the episode

Like this topic? Find out more with these additional FREE resources:

Check out one of my most listened to podcast episodes where I share why you should never go on a diet again.
If you’re starting to move away from tracking every bite and want to focus more on food quality, the British Nutrition Foundation has some simple, evidence-based guidelines that can help you feel confident about what’s on your plate.
Watch this interview from TV programme This Morning with Dr Louise Newson and Dr Sally Norton talking about weight gain in menopause.